ADHDer's Don't Like Change   Frank Barnhill M.D.
 

It’s true that one of the most common traits in an ADHD child or adult is that they don’t handle changes in their daily routines very well.

Of course, some ADHDer’s can handle little changes, while others don’t tolerate change at all. I guess you could say the way a person handles change depends upon how many ADHD traits that person actually has.

ADHD kids and grown-ups tend to develop daily routines that provide for consistency in their actions and feelings of self-control, as a result of successfully finishing the intended routine. These routines often help them make it through the day with less of a struggle during times of poor concentration and motivation. A lot of ADHD patients tell me they put certain parts of their lives on automatic, so they can handle the stress of school, work or family.

Let’s use me as an example, since I’ve had ADHD all of my life. I started “a get out of bed and get to work routine” many years ago to ensure I made it to the hospital to see patients on time every morning.

It’s really a simple routine. I’m out of bed before 6 A.M., fix my oatmeal and orange juice, check on the weather for the day, brush my teeth, shave, attend to a moment of nature, assemble clothing for the day, shower, dress, drink a diet Dr. Pepper, check for things I need to take with me, kiss Ann and tell her I love her, then off I go.

This routine virtually assures me that I will successfully finish all of those little tasks on time and keep my scheduled appointments. How do you think your child would feel if he were able to get up and get ready for school on his own every morning? How would you feel if that happened?

Well, most parents would think a miracle had occurred, as they usually have to fuss and fight to get the kids off to school. So, what should you do to help your ADHDer develop routines that improve their organization skills and self-esteem?

First, make a written list of everything you, your child or spouse would need to include in a daily routine. Then agree on how to make all of those little tasks become automatic. The key to doing so, is to make small changes in daily behavior over a period of two or three weeks, and help them practice the changes in their new routine over and over. Repetition is essential!

Just a word of caution: Only make small changes in an ADHDer’s routine. If you try to force a major change in a daily routine it will cause a sense of loss of control and terrible frustration for both you and your ADHDer. Making small changes will be better tolerated and will help your ADHDer learn how to be more flexible when dealing with similar events in the future.

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