ADHD'ers Love the Internet   Frank Barnhill M.D.
 

Impulsivity

Instant messaging satisfies the impulsive needs of the ADHD’er.  They are too impatient now for telephone conversations, which they feel are too slow because they can’t have three or four friends on the phone line at once.  But think about it, they can be on the Internet with instant messaging with as many friends as they wish.  Their need for impulsivity is immediately fulfilled.  There’s no waiting, no hassle, no supervision and all of these satisfy their need for urgency and freedom.  So what if they lose their temper and get angry, the net filters a lot of this out, and it’s all done at the speed of electrons.  Wow, talk about a thrill ride!

ADHD’ers tend not to have very good social skills and don’t make friends easily, because of their annoying traits.  These traits include; having to be first all the time, interrupting conversations, picking at others and unwanted physical touching .  Hey, on the web no one can tell when you’re doing these things.  The Internet provides for social interaction with little risk for disappointment and commitment.  So, what if their manners are poor, or they dress sloppily, who can see them over the Internet, unless they wish.  If they make someone mad on the net, then there’s little lost, since little has been invested. It’s hard to get your feelings hurt when you never actually see or touch that person.  The net provides what I call “instant phantom friends”.  The Internet is non-discriminating.  You can have hundreds of instant friends, all without any perceived risk.  Hey, could I get to be a movie star this way?

The average ADHD’er has dreams of being better looking, faster, stronger, smarter, more athletic, and daydreams a lot about these aspirations.  They feel that these traits will make them much more valuable and they’ll become part of the “in-crowd”.  Well, on the Internet, you can be all of these.  At least you can tell the others on the line that you are what you feel you are.  The Internet is blind; it does not display anything that isn’t put into it.  The dangers in creating a “pretend you” on the web are multiple.  One day the ADHD’er just may run into the others to whom he has falsely represented herself.  At that point, if they show disappointment, then her self esteem may be very damaged, causing more social withdrawal and problems with self imaging.  Depression may develop causing more problems with family and school.

Every ADHD’er feels the need to be in control of something.  On the Internet they are in total control.  There are no parents watching to see if they use foul language or sexually explicit materials.  Sure, the Internet police catch a few, and they go to jail.  But mostly, the net is unsupervised.  That’s why they get angry if you look over their shoulder or interrupt then.  They’re on a trip getting a high just as good as any street drug.  They are representing themselves are they wish to be, on their terms, and under their control.  Hey, when they interrupt you while you’re looking at television, do you get angry?

Now that we’ve taken a look at why ADHD’ers love the Internet, we’ll discuss a few methods to decrease frustration associated with that use in both ADHD’ers and non-ADHD’ers.  The article is “Coping with ADHD and the Internet .”

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