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Just about everyone knows someone who has suffered through the “D” word,
divorce. It is estimated that one out of nine marriages in the United
States will end in divorce this year. Of course the number one reason
for divorce is poor communication. Couples just don’t seem to talk to
each other enough. Financial problems are the second most common
reason. Our society has become addicted to fast money in the form of
credit cards. Needless to say, divorce causes a lot of social,
financial and psychological problems and it’s probably in most people’s
interest to avoid divorce. So, let’s take a look at getting a “booster
vaccination” for our marriage.
Here are common sense tips from years of counseling couples in distress.
- Say thank you and please when your significant other does
anything for you. You probably did while you were dating, and after
the new wore off, the simple things did too.
- Celebrate today just as you would if it were Valentine’s Day, a
birthday or an anniversary. If you weren’t planning to celebrate
those, then now’s a great time to start!
- Find a simple way to help your other half do their work today or
at least make their job easier.
- Schedule a date with the one you love. This will help put fun
back in your relationship. Do something you haven’t done since
dating.
- Send a card or a letter by postal service that reminds them of
your love and how valuable they are.
- Compliment them on their good looks and dress. I bet when you
were dating, you did that a lot.
- Set aside an hour tonight to talk about your personal or mutual
dreams for the future. And don’t forget to listen when it comes to
their dreams. Showing that you care about a person’s future also
shows your concern and love for them.
- Give the gift of time. Take over the household or business
duties and let your loved one have a few hours or even the day off.
After all, the gift of time is the second most valuable thing you
can give.
- Provide an experience that helps your partner expand their
horizons, improve their skills and makes their life more rewarding
and productive.
- Give your significant other a bound journal or diary to record
their life’s events. This places value on everything that happens
to them.
- Take a short walk and discuss the day’s problems. When there
aren’t a lot of distractions, something magic happens in the way
solutions seem to pop out of thin air.
- Tell them you love them in as many languages as possible. When
the blonde and I were dating, I told her so many times a day, I was
sure she couldn’t forget. (I still do many years later!)
There are many more ideas in the archived article
“Growing A Successful
Marriage”.
I hope these common sense tips work as well for you as I’ve
discovered for me. If you simply remember to be your significant others
best friend, then you will go a long way in any relationship.
Dr. Frank |
