“Why Kids don’t show respect”   Frank Barnhill M.D.

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“Teaching Respect”

“Why Kids don’t show respect”
Frank Barnhill, M.D.

 “My kids just don’t show me respect”. This is a very common complaint of parents and especially parents of ADHD kids!

It’s seems that often we expect others to show us respect as we believe we deserve or are entitled to “being shown respect” because of who we are.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way about 99% of the time. I remind parents and others who complain that respect is an earned asset, not one conferred by birth, giving birth to, raising a child, being older than another person, or having more money.

If you truly wish to teach your child how to respect both you, your family and others important to your social relationships, you really need to take a close look at yourself.

Here are my notes about teaching and earning respect:

You earn or teach respect by:

1.     Showing the very same level of respect you expect for yourself at all times to the person from which you desire respect

2.     Being consistent in your regard for that person’s well being, safety and security and emotional health

3.     Showing realistic adequate parenting skills that do not impose rules on others that you would not impose upon yourself

4.     Displaying respect for yourself by not smoking, using drugs, abusing alcohol, food, or your body

5.     Expecting a higher standard for yourself than you expect for others

6.     Avoiding display of undesirable traits or habits that make you appear to be less a person to be admired than you claim or expect. For example, habits such as saying bad things about others, gossiping, using cuss words or derogatory language around those from who you wish respect will cause you loss of desired respect

7.     You must set the example that you expect your children to follow by showing similar respect for older persons and sharing this experience with them

8.     Avoid judging others based on hypocritical habits or in other words don’t condemn someone for the very same action you have or will later display

9.     Respect is not earned in one day or by one event it may takes months or even years for a person to earn the respect of another

10. Respect cannot be purchased with money or gifts, only with good intentions and deeds

11. Lack of respect is often a self fulfilling perception you will not feel you are respected if you truly believe you aren’t and if you aren’t willing to show respect to others

12. Age by itself, does not entitle a person to deserve respect without having earned that respect

Above all, remember what a somewhat wise man once said, “Respect is like a seed planted in fertile soil.” “It will grow a tree of many strong branches reaching toward great heights.” (Ok, so I have a few quotes of my own!)

Dr. Frank

These health tips are offered for your common sense use and are not intended to take the place of a visit to your doctor.  Your use of the materials implies your understanding that nothing herein contained represents individual medical advice.

drhuggiebear, drhuggiebear.com and contained materials are the copyrighted and/or registered properties of Frank Barnhill, M.D. and may not be reproduced for profit without the express written permission of the author.  All materials may be photocopied in whole for educational use.  For information please contact us at drfrank@drhuggiebear.com.

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