Frank Barnhill, M.D.

Just about everyone knows someone who has suffered through the “D” word, divorce.  It is estimated that one out of nine marriages in the United States will end in divorce this year.  Of course the number one reason for divorce is poor communication.  Couples just don’t seem to talk to each other enough.  Financial problems are the second most common reason.  Our society has become addicted to fast money in the form of credit cards.  Needless to say, divorce causes a lot of social, financial and psychological problems and it’s probably in most people’s interest to avoid divorce.  So, let’s take a look at getting a “booster vaccination” for our marriage.

1. Say thank you and please when your significant other does anything for you.  You probably did while you were dating, and after the new wore off, the simple things did too.
   
    
2. Celebrate today just as you would if it were Valentine’s Day, a birthday or an anniversary.  If you weren’t planning to celebrate those, then now’s a great time to start!
   
    
3. Find a simple way to help your other half do their work today or at least make their job easier.
   
    
4. Schedule a date with the one you love.  This will help put fun back in your relationship.  Do something you haven’t done since dating.
   
    
5. Send a card or a letter by postal service that reminds them of your love and how valuable they are.
   
    
6. Compliment them on their good looks and dress.  I bet when you were dating, you did that a lot.
   
    
7. Set aside an hour tonight to talk about your personal or mutual dreams for the future.  And don’t forget to listen when it comes to their dreams.  Showing that you care about a person’s future also shows your concern and love for them.
   
    
8. Give the gift of time.  Take over the household or business duties and let your loved one have a few hours or even the day off.  After all, the gift of time is the second most valuable thing you can give.
   
    
9. Provide an experience that helps your partner expand their horizons, improve their skills and makes their life more rewarding and productive.
   
    
10. Give your significant other a bound journal or diary to record their life’s events.  This places value on everything that happens to them.
    
     
11. Take a short walk and discuss the day’s problems.  When there aren’t a lot of distractions, something magic happens in the way solutions seem to pop out of thin air.
    
     
12. Tell them you love them in as many languages as possible.  When the blonde and I were dating, I told her so many times a day, I was sure she couldn’t forget.  (I still do many years later!)
    
     

There are many more ideas in the archived article “Growing A Successful Marriage”.

I hope these common sense tips work as well for you as I’ve discovered for me.  If you simply remember to be your significant others best friend, then you will go a long way in any relationship.